Thursday, August 15, 2013

On The Other Side of Darkness

By Myric Andreasen

I like to be seen at my best
Always there in gatherings 
in nice dresses and heels
I wear my best smile everyday
To show how happy i am with the life i chose

My husband's love is beyond what i needed.
So I gave mine to him with no boundaries
I have many friends, and i love my job
Which makes life perfect and i am satisfied.

But At night the feeling starts changing.
In silence, the darkness seemed vast in space. 
when the lights are out and nothing to see.
all I could feel is me. 
There was a discernible  fear for what to come
I think of future and i realize time is becoming my enemy.

Time will take away my youth, my caring mother, my friends and lastly my love.
The idea of being alone in an empty house nothing but memories that slowly fading in the southern hemisphere of the aging brain is heartbreaking.
I am not lonely but i feel alone.
Nothing in this world can save me, nor i can save someone from dying isn't that the truth?
It helps to believe i am just a passerby and this life is a training ground of yet to come.
Yet, these unpleasant thoughts taught me life is very short, so i want to love with purpose.
I hugged my husband and finally drifted to sleep, thinking what can i give rather than what i could lose. Time can have my tomorrow but it can never steal my "now".

Before i drift i whisper to my snoring love ever softly " you are the best and tomorrow I love you some more".

Saturday, March 30, 2013

My New Job

I can't even summon my thoughts to write a blog, nor any recent craft projects to share. I have been working on some things around the house, but I feel I am not creative enough to creatively express it in words... or maybe I am just too lazy to speak (I mean write).

My job has taken most of my time and energy since there was no other available to alternate the schedule with.

My restaurant work is not a glamorous job. I would come home covered in vegetable juices or blood from the prepping prime rib. One thing I learned, though one can love cooking or working in the kitchen, but it doesn't mean working in a restaurant will be a bliss. Cooking can be an enjoyable hobby, where you can take all the time you want in making one dish, on the other hand, restaurant work is a business where you have cook/prep as much as you could as quick as you could. I would come home drained and sore all over, but then, I had to do continue doing it as I work in my own kitchen to cook dinner with my work shoes on. Main reason why I don't blog much anymore, because I feel like I rather use my remaining energy to watch "Who's Line is it Anyway" and relax

Yes. It is not a glamorous job. I don't wear high heels nor wear a lipstick, or have time to curl my hair, but I like it. It is the closest I could get to what I did or should I say back I was in college. Although working in the kitchen has nothing to do with film making, it is a fast paced environment, I wear sneakers at work, a lot of running, lots of lifting and the job requires a little bit of creativity and developing of skills. Oh yeah! Not to mention I didn't have to deal with demanding customers. I am happy working at the back of the house.

It is a tough job. Sometimes I wanted to cry when my back really hurt (except when I'm cutting onions), but then I remember how I love my job and I do my best to be great in it. It is my delight to bring good quality clean food like I would give to my own family even if it takes me to wash my hand every 20 minutes for 20 secs under the hottest running water I could handle. 

 This is not my dream job. I know I mentioned I wanted to write fantasy/fiction novels and I still do, but I cannot finish a novel in one sitting. I have got to have a day job that can pay our bills, food and buy my way back to see my family in Manila. I feel it is not the right time yet. God is still preparing me for the best, but for  now, I want to do great and work my way up for a more challenging position.

At the end of the day when I have all sorts cuts on my hand and different sorts of body ache I could imagine, I still am thankful to God for that I have a job. A job I like, then I would remember everything I have gone through from leaving my life behind to start all over again. I remembered wondering how long till I get acclimated to life here in U.S. My husband thought me so well to learn how to be more independent. Tough lessons, tough teaching but lots of love into it. It was all worth it and totally necessary. He must love me so. But I know all of this is because God left me with a promise that he would take care of everything for me.